Perfectionism is a Hoax
One of the biggest obstacles I face in running my coaching business is its inherent association with the realms of industrialized wellness & self-help industries. I have always been, and firmly remain, anti hyper-individualistic and anti self-help (we’re socially wired beings by nature, for a reason) largely in regards to the abundance of messaging and strategies put out through these industries that teach us that we are imperfect, and imperfection is a bad thing.
If “perfectionism” is an unattainable standard that we are aiming to achieve, then we will always be in need of improvement. It has become a driving force behind our indicators of success and achievement, and has further separated us from ourselves and has created a framework of what “making it” means and who is worthy enough to earn that status. In short, we’ve forgotten how to recognize who we really are and how to know that we really matter.
When we use this “I’m flawed” framework as our structure for productivity and creative process, we’re already setting ourselves up for failure. The drivers of this framework are shame-based and drive us with fear, and while we might be used to that type of thinking, we’ll never actually achieve fulfillment or success because once we get “there”, we’re still carrying those negative inner thoughts with us. They’ve gone nowhere, even in the face of an achievement. It might sound like, “even though you accomplished this, what makes you think you’ll do it again?” or, “no one cares that you [wrote that book or released that album], you might as well stop trying to make art”. No matter how far we go and how accomplished we become, as long as we’re relying on fear and shame to motivate us, we’re going to fail.
And that’s the belief the self-help and wellness industries largely use to market themselves, while selling you a “solution”. Ice baths, 4:30am wake up calls, and bio-hacking aren’t your ticket towards success because they aren’t addressing the core drivers and motivators that are actually moving you forward.
Instead of trying to fix yourself or your habits as if you are the problem, it’s much easier and more productive to “come home to yourself”. What that means is, remember who you are and what you love to do or would love to be doing. Find and protect that dream with all of your life force. You don’t need to go into “why” you want to create that thing or produce that body of work (because you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone, it’s as simple as that), but continue remembering “what” it is, in further detail, and honor that vision with all of your life force. In this framework, no accomplishment is too small, in fact, every small step you take towards bringing your dream alive is filled with useful information, a sense of accomplishment and creates a feeling of total alignment with who you truly are. No industry, person or negative thought can take that away from you, because it is your truth.
In this collaborative coaching studio, we’re not trying to fix you, and we believe that there’s nothing wrong with you or how you work. You aren’t broken, even if you have the experience of existential dread due to societal destabilization. These industries aim to sever us from our truth and from our core, because in that space, they find profit. It is the colonization of the human spirit.
In this studio we aim to reintegrate you into the things that make you happier, which is our only source of creative energy and wisdom.