People pleasing is over. Become unacceptable.
People pleasing stems from our own deep insecurities and mean inner critic, and is driven behavior coming from a place of self-abandonment and self-sacrifice. It comes from scarcity and desires control and indulgent consumption.
People pleasing is NOT doing something nice for someone. It is not being generous and giving, loving and inclusive. It is not giving other people space to be themselves or allowing them to speak up with their needs and desires.
Where people pleasers might *think* they are coming from is in being generous and giving, easy going and easy to be around. People pleasers go to great lengths to make sure everyone around them feels and experiences ease and comfort in their presence, but the longer we adopt this persona, the more it sours both ourselves and any relationship we enter into.
Keeping your focus on pleasing others reinforces the toxic negative belief that you are not enough, that you are lacking. It is a scarcity mindset, not abundance. When you give from a place of scarcity, you are passing along the toxic traits that are inherent with it.
Remaining a people pleaser shows up differently but stems from the same root. If you are passive to a point of not carrying or expressing a personal opinion (either popular or unpopular), you are people pleasing. If you answer to choices is in some way aligned with, “whatever you want, I’m easy” or “you pick, I’m sure I’ll be happy with whatever your choice is”, then you are people pleasing.
Bottom line is, if your motivation is directly influenced by how other people feel around you or in your presence, then you are people pleasing.
The artist is NOT the people pleaser. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it forever, the job of the artist is to TELL THE AUDIENCE what they are looking at. It is NOT the artist’s job to perform whatever the audience wants. The audience doesn’t know what it wants. It’s the role of the artist, the visionary, to show them what to look at.
In the wise words of Artist & Writer James McCrae: The artist doesn’t create for approval or validation. The artist merely expresses what their heart wants to purge. In a world of increasing uncertainty and institutional atrophy, we need artists more than ever. This doesn’t require special talent. It is our nature. We only must unlearn the social conditioning that keeps us inside a box of narrow thinking. We need your vision and creativity. A better world starts with us.